CMLL on Galavision: April 23, May 11, May 18, and May 25, 2002
by Chris Lening

11:31: So the deadline to send our stuff is tomorrow. And I have a big tape full of unwatched CMLL from late April and early May. And people keep telling me my stuff is good, so all that faint praise brings us back. Into Real Time.

11:33: Oh, it's a Talibanes skit. Pretty light hearted music for a stable whose gimmick is based off Islamic Militants. I think I tried to watch this first part of the show a month ago, but I was really tired and when I woke up, I had essays.

11:35: The Talibanes Come out to Motherfreaking Shakira. Have I mentioned how her torso can control my mind? Oh, it's Villano III. And Blue Demon. And La Fiera. Wow, this is so every match from Arena Coliseo already.

11:38: The Talibanes (for those wondering, the difference between Guapos and Talibanes essentially involves their real hair color and a different awesome pop song at the beginning) all manage to hit hard enough to cause the tecnicos to fall down really elaborately. And with weapons like that, Primera Caida is but an inevitability. Hey! Scorpio Jr. seems to be doing the bulk of the offense on the replays, which is weird, since normally Scorpio sucks.

11:41: Thoughts on the tecnicos: I want to see Fiera back in the mid-80s stuff which exists. He was supposed to be good, and he seems to show that at least he kinda still cares. I always wondered about Blue Demon Jr. Does he envy Hijo del Santo for being so popular, or does he just not care, because living off his daddy pays for all his booze and whores, or is he just really inept but well-meaning?

11:44: Hey, it's every Tecnicos-Gain-the-Momentum Second Fall ever!

11:45: Commercials! I have a fast-forward button. And since you don't want to see just how many Super Diet Cookies jokes I can make, I will use it.

11:46: Villano III seems to spot every back bump he takes. He just sorta peeks behind him when he should be falling, and THEN he tumbles over. Just weird, is all.

11:47: Hey! A foule! Bestia punts V3, and V3 sells it like he has to breathe all rapid and shallow or else he'll puke. Replay shows Bestia seems to have mostly hit V3's taint. Hmm. This actually seems shorter when you pay attention to it instead of just wishing it was over so you could watch Shocker. And so a lesson is learned.

11:50: It's Rammstein! And their unique brand of German Hate Filled Music brings out Takemura, Mazada, and Black Tiger, led by some dong with a bad Mohawk who I believe is Black Cat. I continue to be in both horror and awe of Silver King for going so far as to wear the dark lipstick to make himself seem more Asian.

11:51: WHOO! GdI! Or at least, just Ultimo Guerrero, whose mask I would already own were it not that he'll probably lose it to Santo real soon. And coming out with him is Black Warrior and Negro Casas. As Rudo and Tecnico are of no importance when you need to hurt those bastard Japanese. They all get separate entrances, though, which gives us Negro's superpeppy music.

11:56: And Black Warrior has murdered Black Tiger with his tope. Casita and Reverse Superplex (which Takemura takes all weird-looking) and we've got ourselves a fall. They've already pulled off the Heels start big but Faces turn it around momentum shift, so Segunda Caida seems rife with possibilities. Black Warrior seems to have come packing his Giant Offense today. Which is always good.

11:59: Add the Segunda Caida card girl to the list of Lucha Ring Girls I would like to do things with. Many, many, lecherous things.

12:00: I think Masada and Takemura seem to have the general wrestling characters of "Rookie Dumbasses".Yeah, Ultimo is making Takemura look silly. Mr. New Japan does score with an OK tope. And there's Black Tiger with the through the ropes dropkick everyone stole from Rising Son. Japon via a Northern Lights and a DVD. Negro always lands on his head when you ask him to.

12:04: Hey! Look! Fighting Spirit! Takemura and BW both lose. Here's Masada and Ultimo, then.

12:05: Masada kicks like a wuss. So Ultimo Powerbombs the Fuck out of him. And now it's BT and BW and YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB BLACK TIGER. Silver King's moonsaults rule.

12:07: Negro gets an advantage on BT and calls for the kids to come in. Good call, since the kids are stupid.

12:08: Black Warrior just did a running top-rope hurricanrana, after launching himself off Ultimo. The announcer's voice did not even give a little inflection. Mexico rules. And the Casita on BT wins it. Warrior hit a goofy-looking stunner near the end.

12:10: Warrior calls out Tiger for a Mascara contra Mascara, but I haven't heard anything of it since. Oh Jesus, Gigante Singh is coming up next. HATE.

12:12: An ad for Socker Slam, which seems to be some kind of Arena Futbol. And there's the fat-burning patch commercial. Jesus, she like, drops her skirt right in the middle of public. Why do I not live in TV's version of Mexico?

12:14: The only time I get to see Virus anymore is on Momentos Estellares. BOO. I've got a fever. And the only cure is More Virus. Or more cowbell. One of the two. Hey, it's the man who was once called Fugaz! That's the best name ever, by the way. And Holy Shit, they Have this show or TV movie about Pirate Radio and Goddamn these people are attractive.

12:17: HAHA! Some dong just got hit by a car intentionally on the No Te Equivoces ad. And whoa, here's a match out of nowhere. No entrances, nothing. Niebla and Zumbido start, but there seems to be Boriquas involved. And Safari and Olimpico, but more importantly, BOO BORIQUAS. One is Violencia, and he does do a nice top rope splash, but BOO.

12:19: There is a man in a gorilla suit in the crowd.

12:21: Q: How can you make a match featuring Olimpico suck? A. Include Boriquas simply being Boriquas.

12:22: Safari tries too hard. I mean, granted, teaming with Olimpico and Niebla will make you do that, but he does botch some sort of offensive Flair Flip. Follows it up with a nice moral. Olimpico is real good at countering into armdrags and armdrag based pins. Yep. And Niebla kills Violencia. KILL HIM GOOD, MR. FOG. They seem to be comparing him to Black Shadow, which I thought used to be the Black Warrior praise. Maybe it's payback for all those Dinamitas matches he was in.

12:25: Olimpico would be the best Spotfest Worker ever if he wanted to be. He's more athletic than like, everyone. It's for the best he decided to be actually good, though.

12:27: Gran Markus no-sells the Niebla Dance of Hypnosis. Asshole. Niebla pins his big fat ass, so that'll learn him. Hey, Olimpico and Niebla and Safari were in the best Match of WON/RSPW Year 2002 to date, but there they were facing the Infernales and not a team made up of 2/3 Boriquas.

12:29: Oh Dude, this is the show with Shocker's Aztec entrance. SO STOKED. Combining Shocker with History was quite possibly the greatest idea to make me watch ever. Seriously, like, have Joss Whedon write the whole thing and my head will explode.

12:31: The Japanese cut a subtitled promo. They can get away with being all stereotypical with them because CMLL rules. Inoue needs to eat a sandwich. He's like, nine pounds.

12:33: Inoue enters to "Turning Japanese", which I believe is about masturbation more than actually being Japanese. I love CMLL more than life. Shibata enters with the dude with the Mohawk and to various 80s rock. And here's the Worst Wrestler on Earth. He looks disturbing, he can't wrestle at all, his last name is Singh, which is never ever good. Seriously, the only thing worse would be if he entered to Mariachi music. The CMLL fans know what I'm getting at.

12:36: Shocker can get away with more than anyone not named the Rock. Seriously, the Giant Aztec headdress is only a short walk from the $800 shirts. Wagner comes out in tricolor, which he normally saves for Japan. And here's Silva. I love Lucha Ring Girls. Yes I do.

12:40: Giant Matches only go one fall. Once they actually made it really good, by surrounding Silva with five really good wrestlers (and Cien Caras) and basically letting the skilled people do all the work.

12:41: Inoue wildly over-emotes while choking Shocker. He's all "Look! Look at me, Mexico! I am hurting your Aztec Warrior God! What A Dick I am!" He does do a pretty fine job of gaining the mat advantage and working from there. Matwork: It's not just for masturbatory purposes anymore.

12:44: Shibata continues the beating and does Shocker's pose. He pays, as Shocker goes on offense and tags out to a House of Wagner. Turning Fighting Spirit spots into leg submissions is indeed something rarely seen in the D.F., but Shibata's all thinking outside the box.

12:46: Shocker is the only luchador I've ever seen hit a decent-looking German Suplex. Wagner tries one, and Shocker remains the only luchador I've ever seen hit a decent looking German. The Japanese guys have figured out they work better as a team of anorexic ass-kickers. Ah, shit, just when Mexico was taking the advantage, here comes Singh. And Silva. And Singh takes nine years to hit a body slam.

12:49: Singh with the weakest chop I've ever seen. Silva takes the advantage and goes Up top to hit a pretty decent splash on Singh. Singh kicks out at 1 and hits a really shitty chokeslam. Hey! Remember when this match was full of stuff and it was good?

12:52: Silva goes back up top and manages to hit a cross-body after almost slipping. Singh has fallen a few times and generally restricted himself to walking otherwise. Hey, the giants are outside the ring! Shocker and Shibata in! YAY!

12:54: Wagner destroys Shibata's mind with the Wagner Driver, and Inoue gets Reinera'd, and that's about all. Singh comes in to Chokeslam Shocker, because he hates me. There's really no other logical reason outside of him hating me, and all I stand for. "GRAR! NO WRESTLE GOOD! WRESTLE TALL!"

12:57: It's a party of confetti as Silva exits the ring. Shocker exits via stretcher, as it was inevitable when the Worst Wrestler in the World met the Best in the World.

12:59: Hey! One Episode ends and another starts up! James Cobo's TiVo is the greatest thing ever until next week when I get digital cable. I think this week is April 29th or something like that. Last show of April. I'm gonna get a snack during commercials.

1:02: JESUS CHRIST. I go to get a King Arthur Pizza from the Fridge (ROUND TABLE PIZZA OWNS YOU) and when I come back, some giant creepy-voiced puppet guy thing named El Morro was talking with his creepy voice. This is why I don't live in TV Mexico: It's all nice and Telenovela Fantastic until the Kids Shows start, and KABLAM! Galamiguitos.

1:04: Cien Caras and Scorpio Jr. are teaming. Well, there's Wagner. Perhaps there is hope. They speak of Rayo (so there's no hope) and Shocker (so there's some hope). I think this is one of the CMLL Experiment matches, when they test the balance between superworkers and crappy guys and see just how much they need to rule.

1:06: "Bad Medicine" is such a great entrance song I like Bon Jovi more because of it. Shocker shows up without his partnets and Scorpio just beats the shit out of him. He still smarts over the hair dye trick, no doubt. And now I realize Shocker is facing Scorpio and Wagner is facing Rayo and everything sucks all over again. They could have given us two bad matchups and one great one, but noooooooo.

1:10: Well, Wagner DID kick Rayo in the head, so perhaps there is hope yet. Commercial break, and I'll take this opportunity to eat. Mmmm…

1:13: Sometimes, you see, rudos take the first fall with an extended beatdown, and they continue until MAGICALLY the momentum shifts to the tecnicos and everyone's happy. Except me, who has seen this done nine thousand times this year. Rayo hits a big legdrop to remind me it could be worse.

1:15: Wagner gets demasked and seems to be rather bald. I wager from shaving his head to make his own natural baldness less noticeable. Or because the chicks dig it.

1:16: Lizmark Jr. fucks up a wishbone leg split with Shocker. I'm embarrassed for Shocker. Still, it's fun because Rayo got kicked in the head last fall, and then this fall Caras gets the wishbone (eventually) and Scorpio gets a lariat in the neck.

1:18: Shocker is just too goddamned good. Swankest move out of a Flair Flip recovery ever. EVER.

1:21: Comedy Rope-Running Spots! YAY! Shocker saves my disgust with a big batch of awesome. And Wagner PUNTS Rayo in his nads. But the ref doesn't see and Rayo gets in a shot of his own. BOO. Sell the nads, Rayo. Everyone knows trying to uppercut someone with a buster scrotum leaves you with a sharp stabbing pain all over. It's all about the details.

1:23: Showing the Porra Tecnica section cheering because Rayo won doesn't mean anything. Those people always cheer and shoot foam. "Hey look! We're on TV! YAY! Hey look! I fell down the stairs! Woohoo! Shoot some foam on the wound! YAY! IT BURNS!!!!!"

1:26: Fruity Pebbles Commercial with the Flintstones in Spanish…Wilma actually sounds just like regular Wilma, except she's talking Spanish. Weird…

1:29: It's Gran Markus visiting the Capos. Is there a God? Does he like doing this to me? CMLL seems to be using the "Smear Vaseline on the Edges of the Camera" border effect, in place of the Fire Border.

1:31: Gran Markus kicks the bucket. Sadly, he continues to wrestle. Ah, CMLL and their visual allusions teasing me. And HERE COME THE BORIQUAS! Killer, Violencia, and Veneno are up tonight, though Pierroth does yell something or other about Puerto Rico.

1:32: Poder Boriqua gets attacked before coming to the ring, and for some reason Mascara Ano 2000 and whoever the hell his other partner is aren't coming to help. Ah, it's Gran Markus and it's because they too were attacked. Three on ones don't end well.

1:36: I think Veneno is dry-humping Gran Markus.

1:38: Identifying these people is kind of difficult because Fast-Forwarding through the Boriquas is more like habit than anything.

1:39: If the Rudo beatdown worked in the first fall, I'll bet you know how the Second Fall turns out. Hey! Pierroth is yelling something and I don't care. For a second I thought this match was over, but then I realized these matches never end.

1:43: Mascara Ano 2000 hit the best dive of the match. It just hurts so much. Gran Markus wins it and I am like, nine times more tired than I was ten minutes ago. The ending involved Pierroth running in, a failed kick to the nads, and a successful kick by the de facto tecnico. There is postmatch yelling and sleep is my temptress. OK, after this show is over, I'll go to bed and pick up in the morning.

1:50: Blue Panther is all culture clashing with Mazada and Takemura. I think they agree to speak the international language of wrestling or something.

1:53: Hey! Juventud Guerrera showed up! He's teaming with Panther and the Japanese. Atlantis, Safari, Magica, and Negro are your tecnicos. Wow, it's literally all the major players of the Negro Casas role (guys in six-mans who are good, but just outclassed by the competition) teaming together, and all of them are better than Mazada. This is quite a moment.

1:56: The Japanese kids are spunky, but all their offense seems to be ripped off other people.

1:58: I think Juventud spent the whole fall beating up Atlantis on the outside. His team wins in the meantime.

2:00: So tired…

11:33 a.m.: These are the prices you pay sometimes. Let me just check to see that the site hasn't been updated…OK good.

11:38: When last we left our heroes, Panther and Atlantis were continuing their feud that I think is like, a decade old. Atlantis always seems to pick it up when he fights his major enemies.

11:40: Magica seems like a Japanese-destroying offensive machine, but Juvi and his shiny pants (bought whilst on Ecstasy, no doubt) can only be stopped be the man known as Safari. He looks a lot better than in the last match he was in.

11:43: Golly, that fall was all action-packed and fun. You know you've got something when Juvi is trying, although he did seem pretty winded halfway through, prolly because he's used to half-assing it. Tecnicos win, as do I.

11:46: One of the weird things about trying to watch CMLL after a long period away from it is that is almost seems too fast. Not when, like, Rayo Jr. is in there, but this is just a blur of back-and-forth offense.

11:47: Magica hits what could be the most painful looking Tope Con Hilo I've seen all week, and I saw XPW's Street Styles essentially land straight on his back from one. Magica just landed in many unfortunate ways. Oh look, a foule. BOOOOOOO.

11:49: Coming up soon, Silva vs. Universo 2000 and Apolo Dantes. I think Apolo and Niebla should start a team and refuse to be put in all the bad matches.

11:51: It's Super Porky, and he seems to be sweating from walking down the entrance steps. He's advertising Kids' Day, since the kids love nothing more than grotesquely fat comedy wrestlers with hideous blade scars.

11:52: When the Boriquas make Momentos Estellares, it seems confusing, until you see that they're only showing them punching someone in the nads. The zenith of the Boriqua offense, if you don't count waving the flag and yelling something about Puerto Rico. And Dammit, there's Virus again, and he's doing something awesome. He's always doing something awesome.

11:56: Mariachi music: ALWAYS the sign of something bad to come. Universo and Apolo are the Best of the whole Dinamitas/Capos chain, though.

11:58: The Capos decide Silva's weakness comes when you punch him, because he ALWAYS sells punches like death. Of course, I'm being sarcastic and this doesn't work.

12:00 Noon: Nor does a pair of splashes from the top. Silva is apparently impervious to pain. At any rate, this does seem to have structure to it, as the two little people have to do a whole bunch of stuff to stop the one big person.

12:02: I'm unsure whether to praise Silva for doing some bumps and stuff that most Seven-Footers don't do or say "Meh" because Mascara Magica just landed wrong on a Tope Con Hilo to the floor fifteen minutes ago. At any rate, the Capos don't seem to be making any headway, although Silva seems a little worn out.

12:04: Universo 2000 gets a whole lot of Giant Brazilian on him. Thanks for playing. And there's a kick to the balls from Apolo. The foule has some usefulness to it, but like, 98% of the time it's just a tool for lazy rudos. The fake foule is the most irritating thing in the history of time, though. CMLL does a fraction as many as AAA, which is yet another reason why CMLL is better. For those keeping track, there are now 456,382 reasons.

12:08: A commercial for Scooby Doo reminds me that I still have no idea how that movie made $56 million last weekend. Left is right, Up is down, Apolo did the ball-punching while Universo took the Giant Splash, everything is Wrong.

12:13: This seems to be one of the Saturday shows, since Mas Adelante is Boxeo and Futbol and not Que Locos. Ah, I'd miss Que Locos commercials if they didn't air them every commercial break.

12:14: The creepy cartoon singing chicken makes me glad I don't know Spanish. Es verdad.

12:15: Uh oh, we're starting from Arena Mexico today, and we're starting with Bad Medicine. Wagner, Panther, and Apolo, who seems so happy to be sans Capos that he's brought back the Stone Cold shirt.

12:17: Shit. Mariachi music. And it's Rayo's. Atlantis follows, so he should be good against Wagner and Panther, since he hates them and all. Maybe Mr. Niebla's car broke down. FUCK. Super Porky. Maybe Niebla just paid off Atlantis. "Seriously, dude, if I team with Rayo one more time, I'm just gonna lose it. I swear I'll fight the Dinamitas whenever you want."

12:20: Arena Mexico loves Porky, but I've watched enough Indy Wrestling to understand that some things are more fun live than they are on tape. Porky is some sort of fat version of the Pose of Mutual Respect.

12:22: Rayo either wanted to feel Wagner's mask or that was that was the worst Eye Rake ever.

12:23: Yep, Atlantis squares off against Panther and he's like a different wrestler. Porky squares off against Panther and he's doing like, neat-looking non-fat stuff. Oh wait, Apolo's in and there's the Comedy Fat Spots.

12:26: No, Rayo was feeling Wagner's face. He does the same thing to Apolo and I'm so confused. Tecnicos win when Atlantis and Rayo do some double-team stuff and Porky is fat.

12:28: Atlantis kicks the rope Porky was leaning on and apparently he has a heart attack and fall off. Porky's man enough to survive a mere heart attack. His veins flow with bacon grease at this point anyhow. And Apolo hits what may be the weirdest variant of a frog splash ever.

12:31: The Tercera Caida card girl is the balm to soothe the pain of Rayo and Porky. As is the rudos putting the hurt on the tecnicos still. Oh, but Rayo is too bad a wrestler to continue selling.

12:33: Wagner takes one for the team before Rayo takes forever to put him in a Tapatia that doesn't work. Eek. Still, Atlantis pins Rayo and Porky is too fat for Panther, so the tecnicos win.

12:36: Footage from Kids Day, done with the Vaseline border. I suppose that does work better than the fire border, but still, Televisa and their border obsessions are a little confusing. There's a clown, and he's teaching the kids a dance where they thrust their crotch out.

12:39: Oh my God. Coming up next is Mascara Ano 2000, Universo 2000, and Gran Markus against Killer, Violencia, and Nitro. I love you, the fan, but there isn't enough love in the world to counter Dinamitas AND Boriquas. FUH. FUH. WID. There seems to be a skit involving Pierroth yelling, probably about Puerto Rico.

12:42: You'll often hear jokes about how watching Dinamitas matches in Fast Forward is like watching them do move at a normal speed. Well, my VCR has a Double-Speed FF, and God almighty, they've done stuff at the same rate as the GdI will do sometimes. It hurts so much. And here's more Boricuas. Universo did hit an OK tope in the middle of this, but yeah, Puerto Rico. Yeah. Veneno has the silliest hair in Lucha, and that boggles the mind.

12:50: Pretty dull Momentos Estellares, although Volador Jr. has some hang time.

12:51: Oh man, it's Shocker's Office! And it's Shocker's midget, Shockercito! He gets the mask, too. Ooh, Niebla's sowing the seeds of discontent. Part of the fun of them teaming again is that eventually they're going to have to split again. And Shocker/Niebla encounters are right good.

12:53: Shocker interrupts Morales's introduction, and I just want to be him sometimes.

12:54: The Japanese kids are coming out with Black Tiger and Fuerza. And they're facing Niebla, Shocker (only wearing his new shirt, not an elaborate tribute to history), Black Warrior, and Hijo de Lizmark. ¾ ain't bad.

12:58: It's a big old rudo beatdown like I've heard so much about. Takemura is stepping on Niebla's face.

1:00: Momentum shift off Shocker and Niebla bonding with Somersaults. Lizmark hits the Spinaroonie, and so he's not all bad. Tiger is so mad over the loss he throws a piece of grating at Warrior. Boy, they need to restart that feud. Although if they really wanted to blow everyone's mind they could run the BT/BW and Santo/Ultimo Mask Matches on the same show. I would pay a Hundred Fucking Dollars to see that. But CMLL isn't panicking, so it won't happen.

1:04: Fuerza turns the tides with his ability to hit people really hard, but Niebla can also do that. Everyone here is just pasting each other.

1:06: I think Shocker's reaching that Santo-Satanico level where ultimately, every match he's in is centered around him. Of course, in theory all three of them could team together. And they should.

1:08: Mexico appears to have taken it in 2, but then Mazada runs around crying about his nuts, which he claims were injured during the Circuit Breaker. Boooooo.

1:13: This seems to have turned into a ref fight. In other news, Mr. Niebla is really fun to watch. But you knew that. NIEBLA DANCE! BT comes and gets him and each team now has one guy eliminated.

1:14: Silver King is unafraid to throw himself right on the entrance way and then take a BW tope of death. And so the match comes down to Shocker vs. the Japanese pair. There's a real foule by Mazada and despite Lizmark's best efforts, Japan wins. Probably fun to watch live, but all cliché on tape.

1:18: Japanese guys yell ICHIBAN a whole lot. As well they should.

1:20: One more show, and apparently it'll only be an hour or so. Or else the tape runs out.

1:21: It seems to be the Mother's Day show or something. Weird. CMLL has got to have the strangest demographics of all the Wrestling Promotions.

1:23: Oh man, Ultimo and Rey are talking…that means they're gonna wrestle soon. Vaseline Border. If this was a soap opera, this would all be a dream. Oh shit, no no no no. They implied Cien Caras and Rayo Jr. were coming to the party too. Magadan and Linares are awash in middle-aged Mexican women.

1:25: Rayo comes out with Atlantis and BW, so perhaps there is hope yet. Man, Niebla must have washed Mr. Lutteroth's car or something. And here's the best Tag Team in the world and Cien Caras also. YES! Rayo and Caras are going at it. Thus eliminating me seeing GdI vs. Rayo.

1:28: They're clipping Warrior and Ultimo on the mat. I hate Televisa. Pose of Mutual Respect and I hate everything.

1:30: Atlantis seems all motivated again. And that fall was Rayo/Caras free, so it was therefore good.

1:31: Rayo's out for the first time, wrestling Rey. Why does he keep feeling everyone's face? And Rey lands hard on the outside. You simply can't bump like that in America, with all them performance enhancers deteriorating all your tissue.

1:33: Cien Caras against BW. Meh. I suppose it's good to put the awful guys against the best guys on each side. GdI do a bunch of double-team moves on Rayo and Caras just stands there because he sucks. QUARTERING SUBMISSION on BW. Caras contributed, but he still sucks.

1:36: Replay shows Caras fucking everything up trying to triple-team. Tarzan Boy sleeps easily tonight.

1:38: Ultimo shatters his knees on that bump. That makes two for the GdI tonight. Three as Rey hits a giant but kinda-weird-looking tope. GdI eventually recover and hit a pretty ugly Spike Superbomb.

1:40: Everything always ends with a kick in the balls. Fortunately, Caras and Rayo keep their ballstrikes to the outside. The replay of the fall ends with what seems to be a double atomic drop into a double kick in the balls. Even when the GdI are being cliché, they're still being awesome.

1:42: Capos and Gran Markus will fight Killer, Violencia, Nitro, and Veneno. Ah, sometimes watching this on tape is so much better.

1:45: This skit is long and featured stock footage of a big rig for some reason. I'm going to Fast-Forward through this match because I want to.

1:47: I think Veneno is dead. Weird. Inside the ring, the Capos are somehow making me want to support them. I mean, they're just boring. They lack all the annoyance of your Boriquas.

1:51: This just goes on forever, doesn't it? Oh look, Pierroth has run in. I hope he delivers a long speech about Puerto Rico!

1:53: I wonder if this angle is big in Mexico. If they can't get enough of seeing what crazy antics those Puerto Ricans will be up to this week. Or if they actually like wrestling. Hard to say. Wow, that ate up a ton of time. If the end of Japanese & Tarzan Boy vs. Shocker, Wagner, and Casas, verily shalt I be pissed.

1:55: Bulldog Promo, which is godawful and in English. He seems to have gone to the Fat Joe school of elocution, where they teach you to show emotion by yelling really loud.

1:58: Momentos Estellares features both Sangre Azteca and Ricky Marvin and FUCK THE TAPE STOPPED FUCK. Blast. I hate the Boriquas even more. I might have this on tape somewhere else, but I suppose that's all the tape I have for today.

What have we learned today?

-The Boriquas suck.
-Sometimes, when Rudos dominate the First Fall, that means they'll Magically lose momentum in the second.
-Atlantis needs to fight good rudos all the time.
-Mr. Niebla appears to have paid off his debts to Rayo de Jalisco Jr.
-Sleep is our friend.
-CMLL is so good right now that they can have a month's worth of shows with no Santo, no Satanico, and a Giant Load of Boriquas and Capos, and yet they still beat every other promotion in the world right now. Especially when you can watch on tape and Fast-Forward through Commercials and Crappy Matches.

Chris Lening
Discuss this on the Message Board!