NJPW Wrestling World 1/4/02
by Chris Lening

I decided to stay up until about 6:30 reviewing the Dome show in Real Time. I feel less shitty right now than I thought I would. Good for me. Anyway, the thing is as follows:

1:53 a.m.: So at some point I figured “Hey, I should review that Tokyo Dome Show I have.” And then I said, “Wait. I don’t really know much about New Japan. I don’t even know who a couple of these guys are. How would my review not be dismissed as the work of some hack amateur?” And so I decided to disguise by doing the most dangerous of gimmick reviews: The Real-Time review. Basically I decided to make it even more dangerous by doing it really late at night, less than a week before Finals. I am thusly dooming myself to the horrors of mediocre grades caused by lack of sleep because I was busy working for YOU. And so I figure my inadequacies can be covered up by your pity for my sacrifice. SCORE!

1:58: Let’s get started. Various New Japan officials lead all the Wrestlers, who are wearing these Swank Red Outfits, out to the ring. They bow to the audience. One of the guys wearing a Tuxedo says a few things I don’t understand since I’m not fluent or anything. I don’t think he’s Inoki, since I remember what he looks like kinda. Already my vast lack of NJPW knowledge taints my street cred.

2:02: We get the Pretty Fucking Rad Opening Credits Sequence. Computer animation!

2:03: Ah, Commercials. The Japanese Wackiness kicks off in a Big Way with Some Sumo Children prancing around yelling something.

2:04: And we’re back outside the Dome, which looks Freaking Weird. Whoa, it’s like a Bigass Spaceship or something.

2:05: We get a short clip showing all the matches scheduled, and where applicable, what led up to them. Dude, this is so much better than that weird Half-Hour thing they air before WWF PPVs where Coachman yells at us to buy it. All you East Coast folk have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. Heat-Getting Bastards. The announcer guy has an awesome voice made even awesomer by his trouble with English. He sounds like he has a lisp, although he pronounces all the Japanese names fine, So I’m guessing that’s where our problem stems from.

2:10: OK, I’ll stop interrupting, but we’re still in the setup show. First of all, I have no idea what in the hell BS Asahi’s Square frame technology is about. Is Japan going in the reverse of American Widescreen and Just Boxing Everything Up? Also, I would like to use this time to state that my Banana, Strawberry, and Yogurt Smoothie is good in a very strange way. It tastes like semi-sweet wallpaper paste. Mmmm.

2:14: The New Japan Ring Announce Guy, Who looks as though he’s pulled tonight’s clothing from the “Gay Bellboy” section of the store, calls out our first participants. Our first team, Wataru Inoue and Katsuyori Shibata, run out to the ring, because they’re young and stupid. Masayuki Naruse and Masahito Kakihara stroll on out, wearing clothes which will enable me to distinguish them, unlike their Spunky Opponents.

2:18: Pretty standard shooty start, with some kicks thrown and some leg holds and such.

2:19: Kakihara looks like Maven from a distance to a staggering degree. Even has the same pants. He seems to be the better of the team, as Naruse just got worked on out there. He gains an offensive advantage with Bitchslaps. Good for him. Naruse follows up by kicking one of the Young Lions.

2:22: Enough of Matwork. Kakihara throws some pretty OK Snap Suplexes and the Pummeling of the Younguns continues. Naruse’s offense continues to involve him swinging his leg forward in some fashion. Oh, but he got caught in what I guess would be the Young Lion-Tamer.

2:25: Oh my, they are kicking this youngster! But Kakihara tries to hit some absurd slap and token counter desperation offense results.

2:28: We have ourselves a winner, as Kakihara throws a pretty not that great Lariat, after he had been caught in some pretty goofy submission just a little bit earlier. (10:50). The losers give a rage-filled post match discussion, while the Winners have themselves a press conference in what looks to be the Media Room. That is so cool.

2:31 And here we go with AKIRA and Koji Kanemoto versus El Samurai and Minoru Tanaka. Kanemoto is doing his damndest to sneer, but it’s not really convincing me. His look of contempt for everything is just a cry for help. We’re here for you, man. Samurai and Tanaka enter to noticeably peppier music, although just about everyone enters to random Guitar riffs. Except Jushin Liger, but that’s a whole other thing. Ooh, Tanaka looks PISSED!

2:35: Tanaka tries to get Kanemoto to come out, but he’s all, “Eh”. Finally he does. He calls for a wristlock, and like a Sucker, Tanaka falls for it, gets kneed in the chest, and then gets toped on the outside. Sucker.

2:37: And Tanaka is already dead. His selling suggests, “Ow, Ow Don’t Hurt Me.” Kanemoto hits him with some stuff, including a Twisting Moonsaulty thing. AKIRA comes in to continue bashing Tanaka good.

2:39: And Your Bodypart for the match is Tanaka’s left thigh. Kanemoto and AKIRA pretty much kick him a lot there. Yep. An attempt at cheating to beat the cheating leaves Tanaka suplexed. Such begins a sequence where he tries to go back on offense, but oh the leg is just too hurt.

2:42: El Samurai hits a slow but not that bad tope, but all he hits is his own partner. Oh, Sweet Irony.

2:44: Samurai is able to get more offense in than Tanaka was, but Kanemoto remains steeled. Tiger Suplex, because dammit, that’s what Tiger Masks do. Fast paced High-Flying Action commences. WHEE!

2:48: Minoru Special out of semi-nowhere and now Tanaka is a ball of white-panted energy. Nuts to leg pain! He takes it with a backslide. (12:48). OH AND THERE’s THE EYEVISION. Tiger Suplex is included here, along with a throw and a jumping kick. GOD BLESS YOU EYEVISION. For those not in the know, they had special camera to catch various moments in replay using the same technology CBS was using at the Super Bowl and 2001 NCAA Tournament they dubbed EYEVISION. Not in all caps, but they earned All Caps, because My God does it rule. Not for any explainable reason, either. If you don’t understand why it’s not cool to see a 3-D rotation of a still frame image, then man, you just don’t get it. EYEVISION IS THE FUTURE.

2:52: Hey, it’s an ad for Cinema Paradiso! Or possibly a sequel. I’m confused.

2:53: And out come the BattlARTS boys, Yuki Ishikawa and Kazunari Murakami. I am stoked. Murakami looks scary, man. I would not cross that man. One of those Ford Focus ad songs leads out Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kenzo Suzuki, wearing shirts that say “KOTH” for some reason. Maybe they love King of the Hill as much as I do. Thusly, they rule. I think they’re known as “TanaKen” now, which is so a total huge ripoff of TenKoji they should have just changed their names and called them TenKoji Two or something.

2:58: Tanahashi tries to take a mat advantage on Ishikawa, but Someone wasn’t in BattlARTS and thus rules less. You’ll pay, Young Lad. Oh you will pay.

3:01: Suzuki figures, “Hey, he just destroyed my partner on the mat, so let’s not do that.” He hits a freaky-cool German suplex. I love him just for that. It was so weird-looking. Ishikawa makes it over to tag Murakami.

3:03: Suzuki again uses his size to avoid the wrath of BattlARTS. Murakami again looks like a total badass. Suzuki breaks out some more of his Wacky-Looking Suplexes. They rule so much. WHERE IS MY EYEVISION!

3:05: Tanahashi tags in, and his suplexes are far too conventional. He also attempts to punch Murakami from the mount. NO! DON’T DO THAT! OH MAN! YOU’RE GONNA DIE! OH SHIT! YOU DID DIE! (8:00) Tanahashi tried to have standup exchange of strikes with Murakami, and he Paid with his Brain, getting blasted with a kick. Good Lord, if that was in a movie theater, someone would have yelled out “Don’t go through that Door! The Killer’s Gonna Get You! AAAAAAAAHHH!”

3:08: Murakami seems unrepentant that now Tanahashi can’t walk without crying in pain. “It was his damn fault for trying to fight with me. Retard.” I FEAR YOU, MR. MURAKAMI SIR.

3:09: Cypress Hill’s “Insane in the Brain” brings out Jado, Gedo, and Dick Togo. Gedo and Togo look like X-Pac with the bandana and the sneer. Gedo is wearing HHH’s pants except the other way around, so the HHH part is over his crotch. Someone went to a Wrestler Garage Sale. Tiger Mask IV leads out The Great Sasuke and Jushin Liger, to Liger’s super-peppy music. Doodoododo. Doodoododo. Dahnahnahnah NAAAAA.

3:13: Oh it is mayhem to start on the outside. Lyger and Sasuke hit some big dives. Nuts to that matwork crap! WHEE!

3:15: Oh but the heels take to working over Sasuke. Jado steals Road Dogg’s dancey punching. Did someone give them a Best of DX Tape? Sasuke slightly hits him with an Asai Moonsault on the outside, but as Sasuke often does, he seems to hurt himself more. Ah, that wacky Sasuke.

3:17: Dick Togo tags in. His pants say “Dick” on the backside. That rules on Many Many Levels. He looks a bit thinner, too. Darn. He kicks off this matches trend of working over Tiger Mask IV. Yeah, I saw this one before on the Internet. They did EYEVISION of the Liger Bomb. It ruled. Liger comes in and hits, yes, it’s a Spinning Toehold. Somewhere, Dory Funk Jr. is…really old. DICKMANIA regains the advantage on young Tiger Mask.

3:20: Jado and Gedo hit their 3-D Variation, which has more emphasis on hitting the victim’s head. I think this got Eyevisioned, too.

3:22: Dick bugs me by ripping at the mask of TMIV. Bah to mask ripping roughly 90% of the time. Maybe I’ve just watched too much of Los Hermanos Dinamitas. Togo regains my favor by bitchslapping TMIV and taunting him in Japanese or something. All he probably said was “YEAH! LET’S DO A CHINLOCK SEGMENT AFTER THIS. YOU HOMO.”

3:25: Jado hits a Jawbreaker-Superkick combination that reminds me he’s worked with Lance Storm before. Tiger Mask remains resilient as the Assault of the Surly guys with shaved heads and black pants rolls on. CHRIST IS HE FAST as he tags out to A House of Lyger.

3:27: Jushin Lyger becomes the third living person I am willing to let do a Frog Splash, following Eddie Guerrero and someone else who I forgot already. Anyhow, the frog motion is just used way too masturbatorily OW DID SASUKE JUST GET SUPLEXED ON HIS HEAD ON THE RAMP. REPLAY! And yes, right on his crazy little head. Jado is not allowed to use the Frog Splash.

3:29: Triple Powerbomb off the Top Rope, as Jado and Togo help push Sasuke into the hate-filled arms of Gedo. Man, that Rocked. DO THE DOUBLE JUJIGATAME LIKE GUERRERO AND BUCANERO! STAIRWAY! WHOLE LOTTA LOVE!

3:31: Tiger Mask’s standing Moonsault which lands on his knees just looks unpleasant to take. He is quite the flippy little lad, isn’t he? And there’s the Tiger Suplex, because dammit, he’s a Tiger Mask.

3:33: They are flying around like it’s a TJ Family edition of CMLL. Family Fun for all. And they do it properly, as Sasuke and TMIV are able to put out Gedo and Togo, so Lyger can brainbust Jado for the pin (20:02). I enjoy when the dive is used for that purpose very, very much. When you tope someone and then they get back up and do stuff real quick, I gets mad.

3:35: Hey, is this event sponsored by Circle K? The Banner in the Media Room would seem to suggest as much. Is Circle K even around? You know, speaking of Minimarts, I could go for a Big Gulp right now. Sasuke has his arm around Tiger Mask, though I’m not sure whether it’s “Hey, Good Job, My Lad,” or, “Dude, Hold on to Me. I think I broke my head again. I’m dizzy, man.”

3:39: HA! Japanese Soap Opera Ad. He slapped her good! AHAHAHAHA! How can they manage to have three ad breaks in an hour and a half? Weird.

3:40: Oh Good God, it’s Manabu Nakanishi vs. Giant Silva. Silva enters to some sort of Godzilla noise. He is wearing his Team 2000 shirt, rather than his CMLL Shirt, which I have seen him in Every single other time I’ve seen him post-WWF. Ah shit, do I have to do this? I’m not tired, though. Goddamn smoothie. I’m full of horrible horrible energy! AAAAAGH!

3:44: Is Silva wearing MMA gloves? What in the Hell? I’ve died, haven’t I?

3:46: Nakanishi sells a Giant Vertical Suplex as if to say, “What horrible fate has befallen me? Why, God, Why?” He later ducks the requisite bulky elbow drop and lands a rear naked choke on Silva. Torture Rack! No! No it’s not. It’s a Giant Bomb. Silba poses because he is large and then splashes because he is very large.

3:49: There’s that Torture Rack. Has it in for a good long time, but it drains him so much they both tumble to the outside. Nakanishi hits Silva from the top rope to the outside and scores a Countout Victory (6:49). Nakanishi taunts like a little bitch because he won it half-assed. Silva is displeased. It wasn’t so horrible, but it was exceedingly the worst match so far.

3:52: EYEVISION OF THE TORTURE RACK Salvages this one. Hey, wait, they cut out the Eyevision from the Last Match. What the hell? SCREWJOB. Silva says the match result was “Bullshit”, while I say the same of the Eyevision selections of these matches. Chris was robbed.

3:54: Oh Fuck, it’s Antonio Inoki. He’s carrying a garbage can full of a broom and stuff. He enters to music I’ve heard before, though sadly it’s not “No Chance in Hell.” He’s wearing a parka for some reason. I’m gonna see if I have email.

3:56: Wait, someone else is coming out…It’s some guy with a broken foot. I need to watch more New Japan. Oh wait, he’s carrying a belt, so I’m guessing this is Kazuyuki Fujita, the guy who was gonna drop the belt to Nagata here before he hurt himself. He hands over the belt and quietly mutters, “You Fuck, why did you send me in against that Crocop guy? What the hell is up your ass, shooter boy?”

4:00: It’s…Some Guy in a hat with a suitcase! It’s, wait, is that Tadao Yasuda? He looks kinda ham-faced, and Fujita can’t bear to look at him, so yes, yes it is. The only part of this keeping me from killing myself is that Fujita is right there with me. “You fat piece of crap.” Oh, Jesus, they tried to lift Yasuda and carry him on their shoulders, but that was not to be. IT’S A SIGN. DON’T HAVE HIM CARRY YOUR COMPANY WHEN HE CAN’T EVEN BE CARRIED HIMSELF. NOOOOOO!!!!!

4:05: I don’t think I’ve stayed up this late all Quarter long. I’m totally gonna crash watching basketball tomorrow. Ah well, at least UCLA isn’t playing until Sunday. I can sleep through Duke raping Notre Dame on National Television. God, they beat Winthrop so badly. I was watching the Arizona-Santa Barbara game and it was in the top left corner scorebox thing, and Duke just kept scoring, and Winthrop just kept not scoring. In case you haven’t figured this out, Inoki is talking still, although it’s Backstage. He’s wearing a shirt Saying “Open 24 Hours”, why that is, I do not know. Nor do I care. Commercials! Thank you, Jesus, Buddha, and all forms of YHWH! It’s some show about Young Doctors who also play Rock and Roll music! God, I have got to move to Japan.

4:09: Well, all that sucked, so let’s see…Oh Damn, it’s Kendo Kashin versus Daijiro Matsui. Ah shit, MMA gloves. This better end in a torture rack. WHY AM I STILL AWAKE? Oh yes, this.

4:14: Daijiro Matsui must have the same horrible barber as Yutaka Yoshie.

4:15: KaShin extends a hand of friendship, and when Matsui takes it, extends the knee of groin-injuring. Matsui is Pissed. I’m quite amused. Hey, now they’re actually using maneuvers of the Professional Wrestling! Good for them.

4:17: Matsui hits maybe the shittiest plancha I have ever seen. Oh my God. I have seen some TERRIBLE Lucha in my day, but Jesus Christ. He botched grabbing the ropes, then redid it, flinging himself awkwardly and seeing Kashin duck. He ate some rail, so there was that. Kashin locks on a jujigatame before I am fully relieved of my rage.

4:19: Ref Bump! Tarantula!?! Victory Roll! Flash Pin! (5:43). That was so the weirdest thing ever.

4:21: My roommate’s jaw grinds as Kashin is awarded the belt and a trophy which he steps on. He’s sleeping, by the way. I think. Or else right now he seriously fucking hates me. He extends the hand of friendship and BURN! Retracts it! HE’S SUCH A HEEL! He’s the biggest punk in 8th Grade, I tell you. I am utterly confused still.

4:23: Turn Tape Over: The Title thing rolls again with the battling 3-D computer guys and all. The place where I got this from indicates tape 1 ends after the last match, so I guess there was some break in all this.

4:26: Back from Commercial, Mutoh’s really freaking cool theme plays, and he and Hiroshi Hase come up like Gangrel used to, although without the fire ring or the puffy shirt or any of that. Whoa, and now the platform that elevated them up runs down the entrance way to where the crowd begins. Weird. Hase is so cool. I’d have voted for him.

4:29: The same sliding ramp technology leads out Tatsumi Fujinami, who just looks tired, and Osamu Nishimura. Their entrance music was used by every shitty talk show in the 1980s ever. “And now, Alan Thicke!” I regret not watching Thicke of the Night. I do.

4:32: Osamu Nishimura has really neat hair. He’s got a bit of volume working and some nice sideburns and he starts off against Hase. Collar and Elbow! Hey, have we had one of those yet? They take it to the mat and it’s all pretty cool.

4:36: Tatsumi Fujinami is like the pasty analogue of Hulk Hogan in the way his witherered body alternately disturbs and terrifies me. OK, and both tag out and we’re back to Hase and Nishimura. Good then. KNUCKLELOCK SPOTS! WHOO! I enjoy me some good old-fashioned Knucklelockin’.

4:39: Hase nonchalantly escapes a body scissors by headstanding out of it. ROCK.

4:42: Ten minutes or so in, and Mutoh’s worked about a minute of this. There’s something about Hase that makes me like watching him a whole lot, so I’m not complaining.

4:44: Giant Swing! Why do I enjoy this move so much? Too much Virtua Fighter, probably. Huu!

4:45: His name is Keiji. He likes to kick you in the knees. Possibly this is because of some kind of strange “Knee Envy”, if you will. “Since my knees are made of chicken wire and duct tape and some bone, I will hit you until you resemble me and have many scars.” Nishimura is still spry, which makes this idea more applicable than if he was doing it to Fujinami WHO JUST HIT A SHINING WIZARD ON MUTOH! OH!!!!! MOVE STEALING BEYOTCH! Nishimura kicks Hase to the proverbial curb, but he can’t put Mutoh away with German Suplexes.

4:48: Hase’s Uranage really is spectacular when done right. SHINING WIZARD MUTOH THAT’LL LEARN YOU TO STEAL A MAN’S MOVE OH THERE IT IS AGAIN 1 2 3. (16:44). See, this is the burden of doing it all in Real-Time. Sometimes other stuff just catches your attention.

4:50: EYEVISION of many things: a Mutoh elbow drop, a dragon screw on Hase, the Giant Swing and a Shining Wizard. Yeah, I’ll let the Liger Bomb thing slide, then. That was pretty fucking badass. ALL HAIL EYEVISION.

4:52: Mutoh spends much of the postmatch interview segment all hunched over from having to deal with so much Knee Envy. I’m gonna keep saying it until it catches on. That’s how these things start, you know.

4:55: Ooh, the ring gets all dark and stuff, as it seems to be time for Kensuke Sasaki and Naoya Ogawa to do whatever it was they did that everyone mocked and stuff. They dub it “Be in the Ring” for some reason. Ogawa seems to be trying to do a modern interpretation of the box haircut. What is it with this company and poor hair? Between his attire and the look on his face, it looks like Sasaki has been dabbling in the weed pretty heavy. Man, you’re a father now. That is just not cool. BE A ROLE MODEL. BE IN THE RING.

4:59: Sasaki begins by punching Ogawa a lot and WE HAVE CHAOS IN THE RING as all the assorted posse for both men comes out and scuffle. Jesus. The bell rings after this, and Ogawa takes an early advantage, to the crowd’s delight.

5:01: They’re spending an awful lot of time tooling around in the corner. Wait, Ogawa might have the jujigatame but no. Ooh, he kicked him! Bitch!

5:02: And HERE COMES THE POSSE! Scuffle Scuffle Scuffle. What the hell is going on? Sasaki hits a pretty weak Backdrop Suplex and a lariat while the entourages are still inside and now Ogawa is leaving the ring and now it’s over (4:02). WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? That was like the World’s Worst Definition of Worked Shoot, and yes that includes the time Tank Abbott Irish Whipped Goldberg on Nitro. It was imitating the silliest part of real fights, when the fighters act like huge morons. I wonder if Ogawa is gonna threaten to eat Sasaki’s child…

5:05: And now Sasaki is being all like, “Be in the Ring, Bitch ass. I’ll bite your goddamned ear off!” Jesus. How can a match titled Be in the Ring end with a Countout? The crowd is all confused too.

5:08: Eyevision of two of the approximately four moves used in this match. That’s like Eyevisioning a Free Throw. Heh, someone just threw a beverage at Ogawa.

5:11: I wonder if Sasaki should be considered for entry in the Stone Cold Society along with Mutoh, Apolo Dantes, and of course, Steve Austin. He’s got the baldness. He’s got the goatee. But is he working the goatee enough? He’s going on about the match or whatever the hell that was. “My name is Kensuke Sasaki, I am a former IWGP Champion, I am a man’s man, and I do not deserve this.”

5:15: Is the sun coming up? Fuck. We’ve still got two matches to go. Right now Antonio Inoki is going on and on and on. GO AWAY. STOP TALKING. I can take no more, and will use the Fast Forward for the first time all night. Ogawa talks about this too, but I still don’t speak Japanese. This time could have been given to something else better.

5:19: Ah, done with that, and here comes TenKoji. Whoo. Again with the aid of sliding ramp technology. Yes, the sun is coming up. Man, last time I stayed up so late, the sun didn’t come up until like 6:30. Stupid seasons.

5:22: Masa Chono and Giant Singh have very cool entrance videos, but nothing can mask the fact that Giant Singh seriously sucks.

5:25: Chono starts, thank God. MONGOLIAN CHOPS!

5:27: And in Comes Giant Singh. Bah. He is both very muscular and very tall. Kojima learns this the hard way. NO YOU CAN’T SLAM HIM. NOOOOOO. And Giant Singh, I swear to God, just blew an Irish Whip.

5:29: And then he blew a headlock. TENKOJI DOUBLE BACKDROP! YES!

5:30: Hey, Chono hit a sort of Doomsday Device on Tenzan, who was held in Vertical Suplex position. Singh isn’t TOTALLY worthless.

5:31: Chono locks on the STF the way it was intended to be locked on. How many bad STF’s are there today? Koji Cutter. Whoa, I am crashing hard. Mongolian Chops. Chris Need Sleep. No Need Giant Singh.

5:33: And there’s the awful TenKoji 3-D. But Singh drags Kojima away and Tenzan can’t get the pin. If there was any thought in your head that this match wouldn’t revolve around Singh being larger than Chono and thus harder to work over, you are a moron. A damned fool, says I.

5:35: Singh no sells Mongolian Chops. Bastard. He then runs through his arsenal of moves (Chokeslam, Powerbomb). So he repeats. And now Giant Silva or someone is there doing something and Singh runs into him because he’s an idiot and Tenzan scores the pin (10:07).

5:38: Silva gets involved with Singh, who was about to Chokeslam Chono, thus preventing more Eyevision replays. The Dawn breaks outside, the sun rising on a sleepy world, as it always does, fresh with the promise of a new day. There’s something very beautiful about it all. I am watching the post-match angle of a Giant Singh match. There is something in my life that is fundamentally wrong.

5:44: The ring darkens again, and Yuji Nagata is announced, making his way to the crowd. I am happy to see him for hundreds and thousands of reasons. He comes out with a white robe on and some pyro and his eyes are covered because they’re probably filled with hate knowing what had gone on five days before, when his career was pretty much tarnished forever.

5:46: And here comes the opponent, Jun Akiyama. He still looks way too young, although all the neck death and such has given him an odd sort of look. He literally carries the Banner of NOAH out with him. We’re heading for home, baby! ROCK. The sky outside is bright all over, the sun prominent to the east. Los Angeles is a pretty place when there’s no one around.

5:50: Nagata just doesn’t look himself out there. I can’t say I’m surprised. They begin with some circling and searching for openings. Seems about right for guys who team together. BUT HERE COME THE KICKS. Nagata is all full of something, and Akiyama is checking to see if his teeth are all there.

5:53: Nagata pounces as Akiyama reenters the ring. He starts working the neck, which is logical psychology against any 1990s All Japan major player.

5:55: The two exchange standing blows in the center of the ring, and neither puts his hands up to block a single shot. We’re all about the Professional Wrestling.

5:57: Nagata continues working on the neck, because, dammit, you just can’t hit a move and be done with it sometimes. Ah, there are so many allusions I’m seeing in my sleep-deprived state.

5:59: Akiyama finally goes on offense after Nagata misses a spinning heel kick. OW DDT on the ramp. OW OW OW. That was not enjoyable. Tombstone on the outside by Akiyama. He basically takes the same strategy Nagata was using. Neck Death 2K2!

6:02: Here in the middle of a chinlock by Akiyama, I see there are no gloves on either man’s hand. I am pleased. 6:04: Both have now teased Exploders, and Akiyama took advantage of Nagata’s to put on would looked to be the Nagata Lock II. Nice. Oh but he gets kicked coming off the top and that wasn’t fun.

6:05: NAGATA LOCK II! WHOO! Akiyama gets up, and again they just stand up and hit each other, not even trying to guard. I love pro wrestling. So do they. The Slow build of wearing the other man’s neck down continue. This match isn’t going to end on a fluke.

6:08: HAHA! Nagata hits a high kick to the head of Akiyama. Jun kicks out. Nagata remains on top of things and immediately sinks in the jujigatame. German Suplex, but NO! Damn, Nagata almost had him.

6:09: Akiyama hits an Emerald Whateverit’scallednow. But it winds him too much. Exploder! No! But a Wrist Clutch Exploder Takes it Home. (19:58). I sat through a whole fucking lot of this show. This made all the crap worthwhile right here. Maybe I’m just happy I finally finished this thing, well over 4 hours later, but damn, I enjoyed the hell out of this match. Nagata and his neck get checked on, Akiyama gets his belts back. The two of them exchange slaps to the face and shake hands. I’m finally over my hang-ups about Jun Akiyama. Something about him bothered me in the earlier stuff of his I had watched. I could probably go on some more about this match, but I’m just about done and plus, Rasmussen said he was gonna take this on, and he seems to love it more than I did, and I don’t even wanna try and walk in DEAN’s mighty shadow. It is fucking bright outside.

6:20: I’m all out of tape, and this experiment has ended. I had fun. I got to see the sun come up, I got to see some swank Eyevision, and the Main Event was more enjoyable than it was actually good, and that’s saying something, because it was plenty good. It’s been a little while, but…

Good Night And Good Morning.

Chris Lening
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