BUSTER TIME MAGAZINE 2.0

Due to the fact that I'd like to try a change, and can only find so many ways of saying "formula" for this little project (and just don't have much of depth to say about this show), I'm going to gank Chris' real-time format for this show, which ought to let me cut it down to only the pithiest of the pithy. Or, alternately, reduce this review to nothing but my bad humor, without the analysis. We shall see. True to that format, I'm writing this about 10 minutes before the pre-show kicks off, and I confess to being under whelmed by the prospects for the night. To me, the essence of the WWF 1996 resurgence to some degree lay in the company's ability to pick a course of action and stick with it, for better or worse. Looking at this year, I literally have lost count of the number of full-scale company idea shifts, the latest of which being the Bischoff return last Monday. I'm willing to cut them a little intellectual slack over the Nash injury, but hey, they had the nWo going fine without him before, and had a decent try at a true paradigm shift by splitting the shows and de-McMahoning them to a degree. Now, with Bisch back and all that brings, it looks to me like we're back into the Boss vs. Employee story arc we've been in now for 4 or 5 years, just starring HHH or the Rock now, I guess. The equivalent to WWF 1996 would be if they'd somehow kept Diesel as champion for another year, except this concept is even more done, now. There's a lot going on now I want to like- HHH, Brock, RVD, Michaels, Taker, Edge, etc. etc. But I have trouble getting into even the best characters or performances when they're set in such a tired conceptual framework. Just one man's opinion, there.

All times are East Coast.

7:38 - I cannot stand the Hogan flag waving from the preview, because I find personally that it comes off as a crass exploitation of patriotism for commercial gain (in that it promotes the Hogan character as a money-making enterprise, and the angle itself is crass at best). It's a problem I always had with Face Hogan, but it's worse now after 9/11. Keep in mind though, I am a New Yorker, so I am admittedly oversensitive.

7:41 - Ooh, RVD/Brock preview package. That really is one of the two main reasons I'm watching this, along with it's being in the wheelhouse of my little project. I'm gonna say it again, because I really believe it- Brock is about 2 to 3 years away from being an amazing in-ring performer. For such a young performer, he's excellent at the little things, nuanced selling, credible yet visually impressive offense, etc. That, combined with physical charisma and immense innate athleticism, is a hell of a package.

7:46 - I'm seeing the Steph promo from SD for the first time, here- she's doing quite a good job of trying to make the SD/Raw rivalry seem legitimately heated and meaningful, and that's a KEY move if they ever want this thing to work. Good for her- she's easy to knock (pun intended on every level) but sometimes she's quite effective. I also like the "free agency" thing they've devised- it's an excellent bit of built in elasticity to their conceptual framework, and a necessary one, as things like the Austin incident proved.

7:51 - Oh CHRIST, Benoit and Guerrero in a table match. At the risk of being smarky about booking, is this not basically the match type that caused Benoit's many-months neck injury some time back? Is it, also, not the least effective way to showcase the skills of anyone in this match except Spike? Are you and I the only ones who see this, dear reader? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

8:00 - We open with….Bible quotes. That never seems to fit with the material, no matter what they do; it's like wallpapering an outhouse. Were I more paranoid then I am (at the moment), I might interpret this as a shot at Austin and his 3:16 bit, though it's probably coincidence. And frankly, the meta-critical absurdity of utilizing transposed original source material to mock a parody rather makes my mind tingle in an unpleasant way.

8:01 - Cole is doing this show? That's different. And, sadly, not disappointing at this point. Ross has become such a ball of clichés that I can't really pine for the drama he doesn't bring anymore. There's always something to be said for the value of ritualization in popular entertainment forms, but there's a different between ritualized and hidebound.

8:02 - The table match is a hell of a way to kick things off, isn't it? This is a classic "I wish this were something else, but this is still pretty good" match. Frankly, as good as this might be, technically, I dislike this for the same reason as I find it hard to watch the Hardys- it's violence porn from people who could be doing better.

8:08 - First five minutes of this are ALL formula tag, but Benoit and Guerrero are so good at doing the little things that make that formula work (quick tags, cutting off the ring, ambient cheating, all those little tricks to make it look like a competition as opposed to running through moves) that it's fun in it's way.

8:10 - Bubba keeps switching between "good selling of good offense" and "no selling of strikes", and it's rather disconcerting.

8:11 - First appearance of the table. Tazz- "that thing must be made in Mexico". Huh?

8:12 - We are in full on no-rules brawl mode, so I'm asking- what was the ref yelling about during the choking and such earlier? Why was he keeping Spike out of the ring without a tag? Does ANYONE pay attention to this sort of internal consistency error? As a fan, this drives me nuts and distracts me. If you're going to do this sort of match, DO it, don't pretend it's one thing for 5 minutes, then decide it's another when that's convenient.

8:14 - First Dudley offense; up to this point, a total squash. They're doing all signature spots though, so I assume it's just them showing their offense before they get put away.

8:17 - this has less consistent flow than a leaking water bed. Move, fall down, another two guys get up, move, fall down, repeat.

8:18 - Greeeat. Spike screws up his move from the apron and goes through the table, and Cole is telling me Guerrero is out. Another problem with this match type- so much can go wrong to make the thing just look bad. If you don't know if you can pull the work off right 99% of the time, it's not a good work, at least without a tape delay.

8:20 - The Dudleys win. Wow. I have so little love for this, it's not funny. As a fan, I don't know what to think of this; am I supposed to buy Bubba as a guy rising to the top? What's the point of jobbing Benoit in his first PPV match in over a year? There's a REASON everyone on the net loves Benoit and Guerrero- they're mind-numbingly good. Bubba is the Mark Bellhorn of Raw- a mediocre guy having an uncharacteristically good run (as a singles performer) on a bad team. You don't build around those kinds of guys. I can't figure this one out to save my life; it goes nowhere and does nothing for anyone, since it's not like, in WWF promotional terms, Bubba even beat anyone of importance at this point. Bizarre, and a bad sign for the future.

8:24 - Jaime Knoble vs. Kidman, and I'm kinda just hoping to get above "ok" here. Kidman is luggage- useful if carried. Knoble is what he is- pretty good.

8:25 - I'll say this though, that was a nice reversal section to open with. Basic promotion- if you're gonna use small guys, have them do things big guys can't.

8:27 - Nidia appears to be turning into some sort of drag-queen-impersonating-Mellisa Etheridge-playing Janis Joplin type of character…I guess. I'm kinda scared of her, now. She's getting quite good at giving off the "Cops" vibe.

8:28 - Knoble works the arm with an arm bar take down and various and sundry ground stuff, and they bracket that with Kidman's increasingly nifty flying offense. He's gotten better, and this is a very well-designed match. Everything is sharp and precise, and that makes all the difference in this sort of thing.

8:31 - A million nice counters and well-executed offense, and if that arm work goes anywhere, we've got a match of the night.

8:32 - Tiger Driver finishes for Knoble. MUCH better than a lot of WWF cruiser stuff recently, and if they'd had 5-10 more minutes to go some place with the arm work, this might have been spectacular, I think. As is, it's just reaaaaly fun and good, and excellent for the time allotted. Much love to both guys for a great effort and match.

8:34 - Jesus CHRIST is Angle's neck pock-marked. Nifty backstage segment though- Angle remains hilarious, and I think I would actually pay for a ticket to see Brock/Angle at Summerslam live. I am a Brock fan, though.

8:37 - Regal vs. Jeff Hardy. I guess, if they say so. We'll see. I guess. (uh-oh)

8:39 - this is why I don't like Regal in the WWF context- his offense isn't just from the 70's; it's from where he WAS in the 70's. Pushes, slaps, a lot of what Vince would call "scufflin'" if he still did commentary; it's the schoolboy scuffle offense, the kind of thing he was probably doing for real to the school bully after class back in the 8th grade (or British equivalent thereof). I keep waiting for him to challenge Jeff to a Lunch Money Match.

8:42 - Jeff wins on a rollup, and wow, that was just strangely short. And it seems Regal's borrowed Christian's crybaby gimmick- I guess it fits his offense, at any rate. But if he brings back the Crybaby Match, there's gonna be hell to pay.

8:45 - Ric and Hulk need to do a sitcom, like, yesterday, with Angle and Eddy Guerrero doing guest shots. Who can I speak to to make this happen? How come they never come up with the GOOD bad ideas?

8:47 - Jericho vs. Cena. Ah-ha. Cena, given time, luck and motivation, might turn into the guy he most resembles athletically and physically, Sting; Jericho, I just don't know where he's going. To say the least, he's listing at this point. He pretty much HAS to lose this match, clean, to get going again (in my estimation). Losing gives him a credible opponent and a direction for his character for the next month or two, as well as helps make Cena someone who matters. If Jericho wins, well, he's beaten no one, and had a lot of trouble doing it. And Cena's just the guy who lost.

8:52 - This is all really basic stuff with a tendency towards formula, but it's swiftly and surely executed, and that makes a big difference, because it gives the illusion of competition. And wow, a Stinger Splash- Cena's even got Sting's offense.

8:54 - Jericho hits the 'sault, and declines the pin. And you KNOW what that means. Cena, 1-2-3, and I now LOVE this feud, and will pay for a rematch. Fun-fun-fun, good enough wrestling, smart promotion, I'm happy, you're happy, this is fun stuff that MAKES SENSE and GOES SOMEWHERE. I think they just sold me a Summerslam ticket, if the main event to that show is any good.

8:58 - JR and the King now do the rest of the PPV, and all of a sudden, I miss Cole. He, at least, does not make me miss the times when he was actually good. AND he doesn't bring the King with him, who is the gonorrhea of wrestling.

9:01 - Brock vs. RVD is getting started, and this is why I got this show, largely. Lesnar is not much right now, but he's immensely full of potential- he's the Yao Ming of the WWF, at the moment. RVD, needless to say (these days), just gets better every time out, and with his bumping and high-flying offense, is the perfect guy to compliment Brock and make him look good while looking good himself. It's a great feud.

9:05 - great athletic offense by RVD to start, flipping counters and all, and Brock does an excellent job with his facial expressions. RVD works the knee now, and it's the perfect psychology.

9:06 - OH yeah, was that a nice athleticism-counters-power-but RVD overreaches in arrogance-and-gets squashed sequence. Perfect 1-2 section transition in WWF formula. The knee work's also stopped, which can be construed as them building off their last match.

9:09 - Ross: "Heyman is a large hemorrhoid on the lips of life". Ah-ha. Yeah. This match has NO let up, though- it's all motion.

9:10 - Until the bearhug. Psychologically, it fits into Brock's back-work offense, and it was short, so it works, I suppose. He follows up with the ab stretch too, so it's turning into something like a story, or would if RVD would sell the back. Eh, nothing's perfect.

9:13 - WOW. Awesome counter to the F5 from Van Dam. And…we have a DQ. Yuck. A fun segment, and I understand they had to get out without either man really LOSING, but it's kinda unsatisfying all the same. Crowd has been more into this segment than any other, it should be noted. I'm kind of deflated by not having a winner, but it's an acceptable flaw on a good show like this one, and it leaves this feud fully open-ended to resume at a later date and a higher level. Were this a finish on a bad show, I'd be significantly more perturbed. Context matters in viewer satisfaction.

9:18 - That whole Bisch/HHH/Steph backstage segment could be read with some really outré undertones, if I cared to do so.

9:20 - Booker vs. Big Show, which I suppose is the last vestige of the nWo plotline. Not with a bang, but with a whimper, as it were.

9:22 - This is standard big man/little man formula, with Show dominating, and Booker doing occasional bursts of offense to break up the monotony and show the flag. It's not bad or good, it's just kinda what it is. Personally, I like the back story enough to be entertained; your mileage may vary.

9:25 - Can't beat a table-to-table leaping ax kick, though. Is it just me, or has Booker looked REALLY good in the ring all through the nWo plotline? Proper respects to Show for taking that move, too.

9:27 - Holy shit, Booker busts out the old Harlem Hangover, and the last few minutes of that was him just squashing the Show. That was a star-making performance there, short, sweet, impressive, and one-sided past a certain point. That could have been a total black hole of a segment, but they did a great job of using it to make Booker look great. Very well-booked show.

9:30 - HHH shows. At least they're not making a promo the main event.

9:32 - it's an overused phrase, and offensive, and I don't like it, but here goes- Eric Bischoff's music is GAY.

9:35 - If I were my father, I'd be spending this segment calculating how much of my PPV money was going towards watching three people talk. On a wrestling show. Yes, I know it was advertised; yes, I know the WWF has been doing this sort of thing for years; but that doesn't mean I have to like it, or fail to take note of my annoyance merely because the source of such is repetitive in nature.

9:38 - And on, and on, and on….

9:39 - Ha-Ha. It's a joke about SEX. GET IT, you little tards? GET IT?

9:41 - He's not really doing anything, but I still like to see Shawn Michaels. He remains one of my two favorite wrestlers ever, even if he's doing virt. nil. Right now.

9:43 - The crowd was actually chanting "DX". Wow. I'll not make any jokes about the WWF fan's memory, for a little while, at least.

9:47 - And HHH chooses Raw, and I love this, because I prefer the Raw roster, and DX was my favoritest thing ever in wrestling. This whole PPV, I must say, has been ridiculously fun and the best possible result I could have hoped for so far.

9:51 - the whole anti-American angle is offensively stupid, to the point where no matter how good the match is, it's not going to even out. Having wrestlers mimic the rhetoric of terrorists and/or their apologists is craven and indefensible following September 11th, because it trivializes that event by commercializing it for profit and economic gain. If they were attempting to do something legitimately artistic, I could accept it, but between McMahon's track record (Wrestlemania 7 and the Hogan/Slaughter bit, the Iron Sheik Iranian sympathizer character many years ago, etc.), the timing, and the lack of any artistic sensibility here, I'm left with just a vaguely unsettled and put out feeling. All that said, tagging with Edge is a good use of Hogan at this point, and I'd probably really enjoy this match without the associated crap.

9:57 - Hogan's developed this thing, during collar-and-elbows, where he's very obviously not straining at all to maintain pressure, but then suddenly throws his opponent across the ring. It's not a good touch, and were I inclined to think along those lines, I'd say it's a deliberate show-up of a smaller man.

10:00 - It's not a good sign that the chinlocks are already showing up in the Christian vs. Edge section of the match.

10:01 - The horrifying thought that Hogan actually has the most credible offense on his team occurs to me.

10:04 - To his credit, Hogan's playing face-in-peril for this match, and I'm impressed by that.

10:07 - Hey, formula tag ends with the Canadians going over on Jericho's interference. Not too shabby a match, if utterly predictable, and I think you can probably book the Canadian 4 vs. Edge/Hogan/Cena/Rikishi for next month right now, or the month after.

10:14 - We're starting ring entrances for the main now, so this won't be a record-setter, length wise, which is probably for the best.

10:17 - I'm looking up the on-sale date for Summerslam right now, so I suppose this show did what it was supposed to, huh?

10:18 - Angle REALLY seems to have shrunk down a bit in bulk, so make of that what you will. Rock also appears to have lost considerable mass, and Ross announces him as 15 pounds lighter than his old listed weight of 275.

10:19 - It's a damn shame Angle's so funny, because so long as he is, he's gonna be comedy man for them.

10:20 - Credit where credit's due- Taker's working, or so it seems from that flip-bump over the stairs he just took. It's also good match planning, as it gets him out of the other two guys' way.

10:23 - basic three way match set up here; they take turns squaring off one-on-one, with one man bumping to the floor for a period in succession.

10:24 - WOAH. Rock with the nice choke slam.

10:25 - And now they're all doing each other's moves- Angle with the Rock Bottom, Taker with the Angle Slam, etc. etc. It's not done to any real purpose, but it's a funny and cute little sequence. This is one of those matches with no real story that's redeemed by three guys busting ass and working hard.

10:29 - Taker's getting a lot of offense now, including opening Angle up. I suspect, from that, that he's losing. The standard rule is, the guy who's going down gets to look good on the way to stay hot after the loss. As a corollary to that, Angle is getting mauled, which seems to suggest he's got this locked.

10:32 - Our first triple knockout spot, and to their credit, it's for drama and not a blow.

10:33 - Rock and Taker each get their "I almost won, but…." spots, which again points to Angle.

10:35 - Wow, Angle's triangle choke counter to the Last Ride is spectacular, and is all about giving the simulation of real competition, which I love.

10:36- And now Angle's getting all the offense, so I don't know who's got this, but it's a GREAT little match. Short on story, BIG on action.

10:37 - SHIT, the Rock won, and I did not see that coming at all- good match design there, for sure. Makes a lot of sense if they're gonna put Brock in the main next month, and need someone to draw opposite him and make him look good. This was a really fun little match, with all three men working REALLY hard and really well. There's no real story to it, other than "all three guys are evenly matched and could have won if things had been slightly different", but the sheer energy of it wins you over. A very worthy and enjoyable main event to cap off an excellent PPV.

Closing thoughts: It's too early to tell what a program like this means, other than a satisfying show in and of itself which encourages the paying customer. They seem, at least for the moment, to be more committed now than ever before to really getting behind the two-show concept, and getting behind some younger guys, in terms of career progression, then they have in a while. Both of those are encouraging signs. If they can have each show be about wrestlers vs. wrestlers with Bischoff vs. McMahon as a meta-framework for that, then they have something which almost is already, and might fully become, a new basic framework for how they present their product. Which for my money is precisely what they need at this point, if for no other reason than to fully establish for their fanbase that they intend to do something definitively NEW, rather the recycling for which they are justly both infamous and regularly pilloried. In the meantime, they've got a variety of feuds and plotlines simmering that seem to have a fair degree of interest to them, which is really all I can ask for out of a wrestling show- something that doesn't insult my intelligence, and gives me characters and situations to care about. A fun show, which gets high marks from me and seems to point towards good things in the future. Keep your fingers crossed.

Thanks to http://www.digits.com for their badass righteous free counters